North Korea, Best Korea!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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