I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
