you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
