The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
