I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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