There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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