u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
