also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
