i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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