I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Found the puke drawer
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
