Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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