it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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