take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize