I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
