My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
