dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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