Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
