party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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