see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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