Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
