She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
