so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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