we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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