Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
