At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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