ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
