Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
