Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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