foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
