At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
People in love make me want to vomit
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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