I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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