Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
