I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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