My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
