Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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