white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
