so that wasnt chicken after all
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
whose parrot is this?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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