We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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