I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
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