I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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