When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
