I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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