Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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