Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
