How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
