Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
