physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
