well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
