Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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