you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
