ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
