I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
