big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
