question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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