He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
