dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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