I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
