i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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