I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
