would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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