I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Randomize
