we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
