Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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