My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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