No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Please don't give away my fajitas
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
