if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I have post one night stand depression
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