he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
