Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
